Needing to Reconnect
I found this old post, something I wrote sometime in 2007, when I participated in a set of hosted blogs. After not seeing Mr. Big for several months, I met him for a lunch/layover. I need to reconnect with the person that wrote this. I was much clearer in my soul:
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Snurfdude commented on my rare personal post…and rather than go back and forth in my comments…I thought I would share what is in my head…
May I first say – you are catching me in a softer mood today…so let me give you – and anyone else who cares to read or comment – a few thoughts.
First of all – layovers can be quite fruitful if you plan your time. They can be boring – but they can also be very HOT.
But to the emotional side of things: Love. Heartbreak. Healing. Head over Heart.
I had asked a friend what happens when you give someone your heart – and then decide maybe – just maybe – you want it back?
Do you get your heart back? And if you do, is it whole – or are you missing small pieces of it that remain behind with the person you gave it to?
Or is the head such a powerful instrument that you are able to seize every piece of your heart and hold it to yourself? To snatch it back even though you freely gave it?
What happens to your soul when you are too blocked to care – or too selfish to share of yourself?
For me: I used to live a life of blocking out feeling. When I discovered that I had the ability to feel again, I’ve embraced that and never looked back again. When I open myself to feeling – to caring – I find my mind more creative and my soul more content.
Love never dies. It may fade and the passion may become a coal instead of a burning fire it once was.
Many people would disagree and say that someone they loved is someone they now hate – but you understand that HATE is a powerful emotion and just a step away from Love.
LIFE is too short – and the rewards of life are too few – to waste it on negativity of the emotions of hate or pettiness.
Heartbreak can be devastating. But hearts are muscles and they will heal. They may not be as strong as they once were, but time does heal all wounds.
Sometimes, though, a torn muscle heals stronger than it was to begin with.
I believe that when you love someone – even if you try to take your heart back – they keep a piece of it. And a piece of THEM stays with you always.
Love can change and move from a stage of madly being in love to simply love – the love of friends. When you can do that as a person – still love someone you are no longer IN love with, then the karma of your life is truly clear and in balance.
Sometimes, the love we feel for a person is tucked away into a tiny chamber of our heart and the chamber door becomes locked – so it fades and the heart heals. But the love is still there.
The head is powerful and is the heart’s helpmate. The head assists the heart to heal.
In an answer: my encounter had it’s moments of vulnerability – but I never felt that aching hurt I would have felt even a month earlier. I was able to be reminded (once again) why lovers sometimes turn into friends because we were able to simply BE friends – and share some fun and laughter.
That allowing yourself to be vulnerable once again with someone who has seen you vulnerable gives you some of the most important life lessons.
That I have something within me that he needs. And he still has facets of him that I enjoy and appreciate.
I like the kind hearted approach to life. I would prefer to risk more heartache and vulnerability because my soul is happier and my Karma is clearer when I do.
Karma exists in the world – and in order to get the blessings that love and friendship offers you – you have to risk a little.
And when you risk, you find out that your heart IS stronger. That it is worth missing pieces of your heart because the pieces of THEIR heart you keep makes your life richer.
Heartbreak makes us STRONGER. Being bitter and not risking the chance to see if your heart has healed will only make you bitter – and close your soul off to rewards.
Moving from Lover to Just a Friend is a blessing in itself. And that was what I needed from him. Hopefully, my caring and kindness was what he needed from me.
- 6 Feb 2010
- Category: Fact
- Author: Paula
- { Comments } 0